My husband’s sexual fantasies are disturbing to me

DEAR ABBY: I’ve been married 30 years. Our marriage has been a contented one. My husband helps me via the whole lot. Our issues come up within the bed room. A number of years in the past, he needed so as to add “spice” to our relationship with a threesome. I agreed to strive it if it could make him glad. 

Now each time we make love he needs to speak about one other man being in our mattress. I’ve tried explaining that I don’t take pleasure in this on a regular basis. It has reached the purpose that I now not get turned on. He can begin out fantastically. I’m turned on and we begin. Then he needs me to speak to him about one other man being there, and I shut down. When I attempt to clarify it to him, he will get offended or pissed off. 

How do I preserve my marriage going with out shedding my husband to a youthful lady, and add some spice to my marriage mattress with out speaking about threesomes? I like him and I don’t wish to lose a wedding we’ve fought to maintain collectively via thick and skinny. Please, assist me preserve my marriage collectively. — LOST AND FRUSTRATED

DEAR LOST AND FRUSTRATED: If ever I heard a few couple who want to speak to a licensed marriage and household therapist — in addition to a intercourse therapist — it’s the 2 of you. Intercourse is meant to be pleasant for each companions, not only one. Many straight males’s fantasies contain one other lady within the marriage mattress. That your husband can’t be aroused with out having you discuss one other man raises questions concerning the nature of his sexual fantasies that I can’t tackle.

DEAR ABBY: My husband’s mother and father deal with our two daughters very otherwise. My oldest is brilliant and talkative, and he or she’s handled with love and kindness from each of them. They convey her items for holidays and birthdays and make time to be together with her. Our youthful daughter has a number of disabilities. She is nonverbal and requires assist in all areas. My in-laws act as if she doesn’t exist. They by no means work together together with her and by no means purchase her items. 

They declare to be spiritual folks, however I discover their conduct towards our youthful little one to be utterly devoid of affection or kindness — the other of what their faith teaches. It’s distressing to my husband and me. 

Now we have talked about the inequality earlier than, to no avail. In actual fact, they by no means even responded. What ought to we do? It’s tearing my coronary heart aside to see my youthful little one handled this fashion by individuals who ought to love her unconditionally. — MOM OF TWO IN OHIO

DEAR MOM OF TWO: You wouldn’t have to sit down by and helplessly tolerate your youthful daughter being handled the way in which she has been. I agree that what your in-laws have been doing is merciless and hurtful. It’s appalling. So that you and your husband ought to TELL them that in the event that they wish to proceed seeing their grandchildren, they’ll present extra consideration to the youthful one, or else it gained’t occur.

Expensive Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, often known as Jeanne Phillips, and was based by her mom, Pauline Phillips. Contact Expensive Abby at or P.O. Field 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.

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