7 Reasons Why I Hate Corn Mazes In Canada & You Really Can’t Convince Me Otherwise

This Opinion article is a part of a 4Uetc Media sequence. The views expressed are the writer’s personal and don’t essentially replicate the views of 4Uetc Media.

Fall is right here and meaning loads of pumpkin choosing, apple cider consuming and lengthy street journeys to catch the leaves altering color.

And whereas fall in Canada is certainly a beautiful time, there’s only one exercise I can not get behind — corn mazes.

Do not get me mistaken, they’ve their charms. However, as quickly because the leaves flip colors, it looks like my whole Instagram feed is filled with individuals foaming on the mouth for the expertise of a corn maze.

Whereas I do perceive the attraction of them, I have been to sufficient to know that this complete factor simply is not for me.

As somebody who’s been to many, and can possible go to many extra, listed below are a number of the explanation why I believe going to a corn maze is a largely overrated expertise.

It is freezing

You need not inform me that the autumn in Canada is chilly. And I am good sufficient to know that being in a corn maze, whether or not throughout the day or at evening, exposes you to that chilly because it’s an out of doors exercise.

There have been so many instances I have been out in a corn maze previous sunset, freezing chilly, pondering to myself, “When will this be over?”

And when this chilly climate combines with the rain, prefer it usually does in locations just like the GTA or close to Vancouver, it is particularly insufferable. So that you higher carry these galoshes since you could be ankle-deep in mud.

The clues are complicated

I am not fully positive how widespread that is, however mazes I have been to up to now typically have clues as to the place to go to get out.

And, possibly I am simply dumb, however these clues and their directions are sometimes approach too complicated for me. Even typically when a clue says one thing like “flip proper”, it begs the query: Go proper for the way lengthy? Go proper till I see one other clue? Which proper path is the ‘proper’ proper one?

I would relatively attempt to determine it out by myself, thanks very a lot.

Different maze patrons

One other factor that makes a corn maze not enjoyable is the truth that we’ve to take care of different maze solvers.

Some wiseacre children are all the time wanting to leap out at you or possibly even purposefully let you know to go within the mistaken path.

And have you ever ever been to a corn maze that did not have paths of tamped-down corn created by stampedes of impatient prospects? No, I did not assume so.

They’re usually removed from cities

Until you reside in a extra rural a part of the nation, and even then it is not a assure, attending to a corn maze will almost all the time require a little bit of a drive.

Like lots of people of their 20s, I can not afford to personal a automotive so if I need to get to a corn maze, I’ve to lease a automotive or a carshare for a number of hours.

It is a ache! In the event you personal a automotive, it is not that a lot simpler. You continue to have to drive at the least 40 minutes and that is not together with potential visitors delays.

Ask your self, is it value it? Actually?

They’re costly

Has anybody ever informed you to “get misplaced?” How about “Get misplaced! Oh, and provides me almost $20?” No? Effectively when you’ve been to a corn maze, that is primarily what they’re saying.

You are paying typically $20 for admission (on high of fuel, meals and extra) to get misplaced for an hour or two.

I can do this totally free by wandering into part of city I’ve by no means been to. And sure, whereas one individual’s “costly” is one other’s “low-cost,” there are just a few different issues I might relatively spend my $20 on than being chilly in a subject.

They differ in high quality

As a person that’s barely above six ft tall, there have been instances after I’ve been to a corn maze and been taller than the precise corn.

And whereas that was a nasty 12 months apparently for that individual maze, it nonetheless wasn’t enjoyable to have the ability to see the endpoint all the time. It takes the problem out of the entire thing!

In fact, corn is a crop so its high quality varies on a season-to-season and day-to-day foundation. However, it is also laborious to discover a maze with thick bushels of corn that make the entire tour enjoyable.

They sow discord amongst mates

In the event you go along with a bunch, and even simply along with your associate, whose instructions you comply with can change into an enormous factor.

Disagreements can come up on whether or not to go left or proper and typically you will end up following a buddy you already know goes the mistaken approach simply to be good.

Relying on the group, issues may even get heated! Particularly when everybody simply desires to be completed and consuming some scorching apple cider.

I do not learn about you, however I’ve but to determine a technique to say “You don’t have any goddamn sense of path” in a well mannered approach.

So, whether or not you want corn mazes or not, hopefully, this cri de cœur will make you see them in a barely totally different approach.

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